Love: Vintage Clothing, Make-up, Shoes, Sketching, RPG's, Napping, College, Movies, Shopping, BF, Parents, Friends, Laughing

Hate: Homework, Drugs, Violence, Attitude, /Drama/, Being Scared, Crying, Being Cold, Failing, Weakness







Images taken from foto decadent.
Layout by colbydageek
and Me

My mom was talking with my bio-dad's gf. They were discussing addiction and my mother's words truly burn a fire in me. Each thing she said was like adding fuel to the flames. She was saying oh yes when I became a Mormon I had to stop drinking alcohol and coffee and let me tell you I loved my coffee and beer. Then she went on to say she just stopped drinking it with sheer will and it doesn't bother her and she does miss the beverages. How foolish can she be? Comparing your habitual morning coffee the this woman's meth addiction? Do you honestly believe that your craving and withdrawals (if you even had any) compare to the chemical in her brain longer.. yearning for another taste of bliss.. having your body tremor and shake and see things that aren't there.. can you honestly say "oh I did it.. so can you." What a pitiful fool. I do not condone drug use as previously said, however, I compare trich with a chemical-substance addiction. Lack of pulling creates extreme anxiety, you feel weak, irritable, and headache.. just to me its very similiar. The ongoing rituals, the brief pleasure, the need to gratify yourself again. How the fuck is coffee like cocaine? Caffeine is addictive.. I know that but she was not adicted. She simply drank it because it was nice. It tasted good. It felt good. It started her day. To stop drinking coffee is like going on a diet.. not like stopping an addiction. God Damn't.

Cara
Artist. Girlfriend. Fashionista.
02.07.89
Aquarius
Collegiate

I like to think I am down to Earth, but I can be kinda materialistic. I like clothes and I let people know it. Brands are not as important as matching and quality. I am very sensative and overly emotional. I have a lot on my plate and can't eat it all. Slowly, I find myself managing and getting better.

This portion is a log of my pulling. I have trichotilliomania, an ICD (Impulse Control Disorder), similiar to eating disorders and Tourette's Syndrome. It involves an impulse or urge to pull out ones hair. At times the one with the disorder isn't even aware they are pulling. I hope with this log I can encourage myself to stay pull-free.

11.3.07 Head Shaved
11.11.07 Head Shaved Again

I made Haunted Reality because I have never been very good at upkeeping diaries and journals and I had just helped my best friend creat her blog, Painted Porcelain. I came up with the name with her as well as made the layout with help from the credited sources. I have always had an interest in graphic design and computer language. It started with neopets and went up..
The name I came up with by looking at my design as well as incoorporating it with my life. I deal with so much stress and depression that its 'haunting'. I plan on using this blog not as an update to designs or anything like that. It's solely for me to write out my daily life in blurbs. Whether or not it's entertaining that doesn't interest me.. what /is/ important is that I express my feelings in a healthy manner. ((NOT A CUTTER!))

Nov 12, 2007
Nov 13, 2007
Nov 14, 2007
Nov 16, 2007
Nov 22, 2007
Nov 27, 2007