Love: Vintage Clothing, Make-up, Shoes, Sketching, RPG's, Napping, College, Movies, Shopping, BF, Parents, Friends, Laughing

Hate: Homework, Drugs, Violence, Attitude, /Drama/, Being Scared, Crying, Being Cold, Failing, Weakness







Images taken from foto decadent.
Layout by colbydageek
and Me

It's weird.. I just figured out that I don't have hw after all that I must cram into the mere time I have before bed, yet I don't feel much better. In fact I feel like going to bathroom and purging right now. I am not bulimic, but I admit I have thought about it before. I already have an issue.. there's no reason for me to add another, except for the fact that I haven't pulled and I guess I need a replacement. I just.. feel like .. I dunno.. feel like crap, period.

I feel depressed.. I think. I put off an assignment today just because I simply am not in the mood. School is a pain in the ass mostly. I don't want to deal with that when I keep thinking about my fucking father. Piece of shit that he is. I'd love to lay in one spot for hours and not have to move at all. I don't know if I want to scream or cry.. I am not even mad at my father. I feel sorry for him, but I feel so abandonded and so unloved by him.. I don't even know why I am calling him my father honestly. He's never been much of one, save a few occasions when he wasn't intoxicated. I need to do my work now though.. if I miss school tomorrow like I want to my boyfriend will have my head along with the parents :/

Cara
Artist. Girlfriend. Fashionista.
02.07.89
Aquarius
Collegiate

I like to think I am down to Earth, but I can be kinda materialistic. I like clothes and I let people know it. Brands are not as important as matching and quality. I am very sensative and overly emotional. I have a lot on my plate and can't eat it all. Slowly, I find myself managing and getting better.

This portion is a log of my pulling. I have trichotilliomania, an ICD (Impulse Control Disorder), similiar to eating disorders and Tourette's Syndrome. It involves an impulse or urge to pull out ones hair. At times the one with the disorder isn't even aware they are pulling. I hope with this log I can encourage myself to stay pull-free.

11.3.07 Head Shaved
11.11.07 Head Shaved Again

I made Haunted Reality because I have never been very good at upkeeping diaries and journals and I had just helped my best friend creat her blog, Painted Porcelain. I came up with the name with her as well as made the layout with help from the credited sources. I have always had an interest in graphic design and computer language. It started with neopets and went up..
The name I came up with by looking at my design as well as incoorporating it with my life. I deal with so much stress and depression that its 'haunting'. I plan on using this blog not as an update to designs or anything like that. It's solely for me to write out my daily life in blurbs. Whether or not it's entertaining that doesn't interest me.. what /is/ important is that I express my feelings in a healthy manner. ((NOT A CUTTER!))

Nov 12, 2007
Nov 13, 2007
Nov 14, 2007
Nov 16, 2007
Nov 22, 2007
Nov 27, 2007