Haunted Reality

Quick Post

Wednesday, November 14, 2007 // 9:47 PM

I have something wrong with me.. I must. My dad said he felt ill and I asked what was wrong and he said he think he has the flu and I replied, "Kirsten prolly gave it to you" as I said those words I was thinking to myself I wish I had the flu.. what person thinks that? I actually want to be sick, want to have a fever, want to be throwing up and be degydrated.. what kind of person wants that? I just hate school.. I hate getting up and I hate going. In marriage terms 'the honey-mood' part has ended for college. *sighs*

parents

// 6:40 PM

So I am upset right? What should a parent do? Ask what's wrong.. what does mine do? Yell.. she doesn't seem to give a shit.. she's too busy doing her 'thing'.. not to mention she wants me to get my sister from night school toinight.. seriously if you ask me to do favors at least care about me instread of yell because my attitude is poor. I know I have a poor attitude I am angry/dad/stressed.. God!

stressssssssss

// 6:31 PM

So boyfriend isn't answering his phone and I don't know why.. I try out for a spot in the talent show and they say no then they say yes.. I went bald today btw. Normally I wear my wig. Poop is on the floor when I get home and I am expected to clean it when I've fucking picked up two piles of shit already today.. I am beginning to hate school.. one of my biggest stressors. Not to mention my dad.. he keeps popping up in my mind and it makes me so upset and angry it drives me through a lot of emotions which can help when performing but when you're at home or I am I should say, I am miserable. Lonely and miserable. I had a good day otherwise had a dream with my bf in it and took my dog for a walk. *shrugs* not in a good mood now though. All these people saying they care for me and it's to the point I feel like I can smell a lie on their breath.

Profile

Cara
Artist. Girlfriend. Fashionista.
02.07.89
Aquarius
Collegiate

I like to think I am down to Earth, but I can be kinda materialistic. I like clothes and I let people know it. Brands are not as important as matching and quality. I am very sensative and overly emotional. I have a lot on my plate and can't eat it all. Slowly, I find myself managing and getting better.

Pull Log

This portion is a log of my pulling. I have trichotilliomania, an ICD (Impulse Control Disorder), similiar to eating disorders and Tourette's Syndrome. It involves an impulse or urge to pull out ones hair. At times the one with the disorder isn't even aware they are pulling. I hope with this log I can encourage myself to stay pull-free.

11.3.07 Head Shaved
11.11.07 Head Shaved Again

The Site

I made Haunted Reality because I have never been very good at upkeeping diaries and journals and I had just helped my best friend creat her blog, Painted Porcelain. I came up with the name with her as well as made the layout with help from the credited sources. I have always had an interest in graphic design and computer language. It started with neopets and went up..
The name I came up with by looking at my design as well as incoorporating it with my life. I deal with so much stress and depression that its 'haunting'. I plan on using this blog not as an update to designs or anything like that. It's solely for me to write out my daily life in blurbs. Whether or not it's entertaining that doesn't interest me.. what /is/ important is that I express my feelings in a healthy manner. ((NOT A CUTTER!))